proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
