I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
