Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
