She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
