Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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