He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
