Me too!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
