I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
