eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
