I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize