You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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