I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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