i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
