They should really pass out barf bags in church
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
