WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
