is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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