I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
