Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Randomize
