He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i now understand why vodka
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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