What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Who died my cat blue again?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
