Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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