I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize