i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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