the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
