dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
