Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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