On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
