I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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