you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
