There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
no you cant smoke seaweed
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
