just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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