I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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