I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
