you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
