OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
