Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I still have a little drunk in my system
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
