what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
