I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
