Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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