i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
