i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
