you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I need to calm my uterus...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
