I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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