Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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