I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
