There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
