Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize