i jhust puked up my retainher.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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