Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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