Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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