if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
