Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
