Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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