Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
