if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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