What a fucking waste of an outfit
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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