Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
