I heard we made out
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
