He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
