i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
