Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
