im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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