16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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